It seems like only yesterday I was cleaning up egg yolks from the kitchen floor with Sloan....and now he is 11. And it seems like only yesterday I was combatting possums with Emma.....and now she is 13! Where did the time go? (If you have no idea what I am talking about, see prior posts.)
Back then, it was both children and animals creating havoc. Now it's not so much the animals. It's the children, including mouths and attitudes! I was warned about this age! Kind of like I was told about pregnancy and childbirth. The truth is that no one can explain these milestones to the degree that you can experience them. For example, no one thought to tell me that after childbirth, my feet would increase two shoe sizes and I would have no shoes to wear home from the hospital. I mean, who thinks of those details? I can tell you that when I talk to expectant mothers, I do not tell them about the labor, the birth, the weight gain, the morning sickness, or the complete and utter exhaustion following delivery (which really never stops). I tell them to get some new shoes to wear home! So with the teen/tween years, I was told by others about the disrespect, the eye rolling, the hormones, and the chaos, but it didn't impact me as much as actually living with these little aliens! Who came and took my children away?
Emma is now 5'8" and Sloan is 5'3" -- though he will argue with that measurement. He swears he is as tall as me. Only one more inch, baby! But I will just keep buying higher heels! Now when I discipline them -- which is often -- I make them sit down. I can put on the mad mama face and shake my finger at them, and it has a much better effect than when I am looking up at them.
As an example, I was out of town earlier this week traveling for business. I pulled into the driveway mid-afternoon, before the kids got home from school, and saw Little Bear, our oldest cat who is no longer "little", walking across the front yard. This is the cat that I left inside who should have remained inside. I opened the front door and Raven greeted me. Raven is our lab; I left her outside and she should have remained outside. I walked to the back of the house. The back door was standing wide open. For those of you who have followed my posts, this gives you a good idea of how animals end up in my house! I next walked through the house to make sure nothing was missing. It was not. If anyone had wanted to take anything from the house, they would have fallen over all of the Christmas decorations that I haven't finished putting up any way. No one had broken into the house. Instead, Sloan had come over while I was out of town to play his video game. Keep in mind, he was supposed to come feed the animals. He not only didn't feed the animals, he left the back door unlocked. I don't think I have ever mentioned this, but Raven is a sweet dog but not very bright. She does not engage in typical lab-like activities such as fetching. She could care less about balls or sticks. The one thing she knows how to do is to open the back door. It is quite easy. She just puts a paw on the handle and it opens. I have no idea how long the back door was open, how many bugs/birds/animals got into my house or how much heat was pumped into my backyard. Sloan got the mad mama face and the discipline of doing extra chores.
So in addition to some of this behavior (which has somewhat continued from their childhood), there are the mouths! They know everything, much more than their mama of course, because I am from the "pioneer days." I guess that is at least a step up from the Paleolithic era. But still..... One of them asked me one day if we had spoons when I was a child. Seriously??!! I'm pretty sure they got a swat for that, and it actually deserved a wooden spoon! I am told multiple times a week that I am "weird" (usually with a little smile) but then I remind them that they are my offspring, so the weirdness will be inherited. Good luck, my future son- and daughter-in-law! I can no longer kiss them in public which is a little sad, so I tackle them when I get them home and hold them down to smother them with kisses. Problem is, they can typically break the hold.....they are growing up. About all I can do now is say a little prayer. Well, and possibly lock them down in the basement for the next 5 years.....
