When I was in high school, my boyfriend (at the time) told
me I was “book-smart” but not “common sense smart.” Well, that got all under my skin. So in typical super-competitive Tolley
fashion, I took that as a challenge and decided that I would show him. So yes, I did. Angie - #1, Barry #2. So there…..
But the challenge didn’t stop at high school and that boy’s
voice still haunts. He was FAR from
Mahatma Gandhi, but he did inspire me to LEARN something every day. It might be something newsworthy and of
worldly importance or it might be something as simple as how to best get rid of
mosquitos in my yard this summer. Oh,
and a lot of times, it’s just silly, funny learnings, and sometimes those are
the best. Here is what I’ve learned so
far in 2017, in no particular order of importance:
- Taking a Southwest flight is the closest you will come to being in the middle of a cattle drive.
- BEFORE you get on a flight, especially if you are sitting in the middle seat, read a review of what you ordered on iBooks before you open it in a dark plane. I had never seen any of Amy Shumer’s shows but her book sounded like a good read. The first chapter, in bright lights on my iPad and large font (because I’m going blind), was entitled “An Open Letter to my Vagina.” It is really hard to read an iBook when it is sitting at a 90 degree angle on your lap for fear that your seatmates will see what you are reading!!
- Some hotel elevators actually require a card key before they will move. It does not matter if you get on three different elevators -- they will not work. Plus everyone is looking at you by then and wondering why you can’t decide on an elevator. And when you ask the doorman why it won’t work, he looks at you like you’ve lost your mind. If the elevator doesn’t move, try the card key…..
- When “broccoli” is referenced in a rap song, it is not the edible green plant in the cabbage family.
- When anything is cooked in a crockpot in a rap song, they are never cooking pot roast.
- Another thing about rap music. Why do they need Uzi's when they cook? All I need is a spatula, a wooden spoon and salt.
- Speaking of music, I LOVE the “Cake by the Ocean” song because it’s got such a great beat! Every time the song comes on the radio, I automatically go into loud singing and gyrating mode (as much as can be done in a 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee while driving). You can imagine how bummed I was to find out that “Cake by the Ocean” was synonymous with “Sex on the Beach!” Emma said, "Mom, you know they're not talking about cake, don't you?" WHAT? And I have been singing this song in front of my kids and their friends!!
- I don’t like country music that much, but at least they don’t sing in code. It’s just plain out lovin’ and leavin’ stuff.
- Nothing ups the attractiveness factor on a man like some good smellin’ cologne.
- I miss the days before texting when people actually talked. We really have moved away a bit from civility, courtesy and courage because it’s much easier to text (or not) rather than to actually sit face-to-face with another person and talk.
- Plumbers are expensive, especially when everyone’s pipes are frozen.
- Donald Trump is never going to be presidential, even if you put him in front of Congress, dress him up and put an American flag behind him. Just like I can’t wear an astronaut suit and actually be an astronaut.
- I’ve had a few people “unfriend” me, I assume because of my political affiliation. That’s okay, because now they miss out on all of the other entertaining posts, like this blog (sometimes) and really bad date stories. Their loss.
- The chickens do not like hairbows. I have tried. There’s no way they will ever go for crochet hats or anything other than their already-pretty feathers.
- If you decide to go eat at a local restaurant bar when you are on an out of town work trip and the person sitting beside you says he left his phone in his hotel room, realize that this person will want to talk. Imagine that. Actually talking to people. :) Can be good or bad, I suppose.
- If someone says you have RBF, you can either be offended or smile more often. RBF = Resting B**** Face. I don’t think I have that face unless I am sitting at a traffic light for WAY too long or I am watching a “Presidential” press conference.
And that pretty much sums it up for the first couple of
months of the year. Imagine what I will
learn the remaining 10 months.
Excitement abounds……
